I would like to share a celebration of one of my favourite journalists, John Crace, the parliamentary sketch writer for The Guardian. I previously posted a blog about one of John’s articles about his recovery, How I Overcame my Heroin Addiction – and Started to Live. This quote forms the last part of John’s post on The Guardian of 8 March 2024.
‘Barring any last minute relapses, tomorrow will be the 37th anniversary of my getting clean. No drugs, no alcohol. I call that a result. I had no idea what I was doing really when the 30-year-old me walked through the entrance of the rehab centre on the morning of 9 March 1987. I had even brought a cassette player and some tapes with me because I imagined I might get bored. Those tapes never got played. The cold turkey was hell. I have still never forgotten it. Ten days of almost no sleep, shitting and vomiting while the counsellors tried to coerce me in group therapy. But I had one thing going for me. I knew I had hit rock bottom. That I had no more using left in me. I was overdosing at least once a week and I knew that if I didn’t stop I would be dead within a year. And for the first time in years, I cared more about living than I did about dying. So I stuck it out.
After leaving rehab, I went to Narcotics Anonymous meetings where it took me ages to say a word. My brain was still too scrambled to take charge of my thoughts and construct coherent sentences. Family, friends and fellow recovering addicts looked after me when I couldn’t look after myself. I owe them my life. Many of them are now dead.
Addiction is attritional. Relapse, suicide, Aids, Hepatitis C, cancer and heart disease have taken their toll. There has been a far higher incidence of serious illness in recovering addicts than in other friends. But those who survive, I love dearly.
It hasn’t been easy. No one becomes an addict because they are well. I have struggled with depression and mental illness; twice been admitted to a psychiatric hospital. But I have plodded on, a day at a time. Because what else am I going to do? I have never had a plan. Other than not using. I only became a writer because a friend was a writer and it seemed there was a possibility of a freelance career without having to explain a 10 year gap on my CV. So here I am. Somehow I have built a life. A beautiful wife, two wonderful children and a gorgeous dog. I am a lucky man.’
Well done, John. An amazing journey. From Pain to Power.