Being a Couple in Recovery: Rob Havelock & Lianne Jones [2’02”]
Rob agrees with Wulf that he and Lianne were an exception to the commonly held view that romantic relationships don’t work for people who are in early recovery. He points out that their relationship put them in a somewhat difficult situation. ‘What did we say to other people who wanted to start a romantic relationship, given that we knew that many such relationships fail in early recovery?’ The situation became tougher when they started sponsoring other people. Some people would come up to them and say, ‘How do you feel about me getting involved in a personal relationship?’ They had to be honest and say, ‘Don’t look at us as a benchmark.’
Lianne points out that a lot of people said to her, ‘But you work,’ referring to her and Rob. Her response, particularly to females, was to tell them to avoid getting into a relationship in the first year of their recovery. She emphasised that they must just concentrate on their own journey and on acquiring self-love. Wulf says the safest option is self-love first, community-love second, and intimate-love third.