Owning My Own Shit: Tony’s Story
My addiction was horrendous, but it was the one thing in my life at which I was consistent. I was unreliable and I didn’t care about anything. I had lost my kids, so nothing else mattered. I thought I was in control of everything and I just had to deal with the bad stuff. Drugs were my life, the only solution I had. I ended up getting stabbed and I died. Even that wasn’t enough to stop me in my addiction. I had no self worth. Even when I came out of my coma, I was initially only in recovery for my sister, not truly for myself.
When I first came to NWRC I thought my only problem was heroin. I got loads of new connections and tools to help me but I struggled to use them. In the Moving On In My Recovery Groups, I learnt loads about myself and I have continued to learn new stuff each time I go through the groups. I ended up relapsing and leaving Penrhyn because I got involved in other people’s dramas. I stopped working on myself.
Through the strength of people in my Fellowship, I stayed in contact with them during my relapse and was then able to become a resident at Penrhyn once more. This time was different; I felt better. People believed in me and I started to believe in myself. To own my own shit, to weigh up the consequences of my actions.
I am happier in myself than I have ever been. I use the words of the Serenity Prayer every day to help me make decisions and work out what my part is in all of life. I’m happy if I’ve showed up for people, supported people, and done half the things I set out to do each day. Some people describe the Fellowship as a cult that brainwashes people. I have realised that my brain needed washing of all its bad habits.
I now have people who rely on me. I have consistent relationships with friends and family. I’m making up for all the stuff I missed as a consequence of my past behaviour. Life is hard but if you know you are doing all you can, then it helps.
Taken From Death’s Door: James V’s Story
I started using and selling drugs when I was 15. Over the following years, my life descended into chaos. I had a baby girl who I could not see because of my addiction and all the crime I was committing. I had some childhood trauma which I think triggered the addictive self-medicating.
NWRC gave me a chance to sort myself out by giving me a safe space to work on myself. It gave me advice and tools, via the groups, to help me finally get myself clean and understand how I had to live and conduct myself. The good thing about the groups is if you don’t like the Fellowship you can do MOIMR, which is about gaining life skills. I didn’t realise how much I needed the groups, to be honest.
Penrhyn House is more than a community; it’s a family. I made a group of really close friends there that I still am in touch with now. Literally, NWRC took me from death’s door with nothing to live for. I now have my family back.
James Deakin and Kevin Morris go above and beyond for people who want to change their lives. I’ve gone from what I was, to being a qualified chef in a good job, because they saw what I could achieve and helped me get there. I can’t thank them enough.
James V was an invaluable part of the NWRC team that fed people in the community during Covid.
