Feeling So Connected Now: Nicola’s Story
Looking back now, I always had a problem with alcohol. It was always there and I never knew when to stop. I thought my kids’ Dad was saving me from the situation at home, but he just picked up where my parents left off. My life was just an existence. I was like a robot, just existing. Alcohol was always there, and every Friday and Saturday I used it to try and blot out the pain. I have never felt understood, and I always ended up in stupid and dangerous situations. I have tried to kill myself when I listened to the people around me telling me I was worthless. ‘Do us all a favour and go and jump off the breakwater!’
In 2022, I was taken to a MOIMR group in Llangefni by Sharon, my Support Worker. I went with her because I could not go on my own. I finally did something different because of my grandson, Cai. He loves me unconditionally and for who I am. I wanted to be there for him because he gets me. I couldn’t stand that my daughter had to beg me not to drink at Cai’s birthday party. Recovery still didn’t come easy, but when I went to Penrhyn I found what I was looking for; family, hope, opportunities, and love. It is just the best.
I feel so connected now, something that I have never felt before. These are true friends who don’t want anything from me. They are not trying to manipulate me. I have my grandchildren and I want to be the best Nanna in the world. I’ve got the help that I needed and I have a better understanding of myself. I’m not yet where I need to be, but I’m better than I was.
Engaging With Others: Ben’s Story
My addiction looked like repeated episodes of heavy daily drinking that resulted in dependence requiring medical treatment to stop. I think if anything triggered it, it was learning to use alcohol as a means of numbing distressing feelings and unresolved trauma, because at the time I did not believe I could manage things differently, and it seemed to work for a while.
NWRC helped my recovery by providing a safe space and a supportive community. They treated me as an individual, supported me in times of distress, recognised my primary mental health difficulty, and got me help for it. What most helped my recovery was a process of self-inquiry, and realising that everything I do is a result of choice, including drinking. By coming to an understanding of how my beliefs and values determine the choices I make, I was able to critically examine and dismantle the mindset that sustained my addiction, and find a better one to live by.
Since coming into recovery, I have got a job as a research assistant; I started a mental health support group; I regularly practice yoga, swim and run; I have learnt Welsh; I wrote and directed a play, and I have successfully left Penrhyn House. I believe that engaging with people in activities outside of the recovery milieu helps me to live independently and makes me a more well-rounded person. I continue to be a grateful member of the recovery community. Horses and the sea make me happy.
