This summary is taken from a Zoom conversation that Rob and Lianne had with Wulf Livingston. Rob, born in Porthmadog, developed a cocaine addiction and drinking problem when he was living in Manchester. He lost everything and returned to North Wales. Lianne is from Pwllheli on the Llŷn Peninsula. She experienced a good deal of abuse and trauma in her early life, and eventually became addicted to painkillers, illicit drugs, and alcohol. The pair met at a meeting in Penrhyn House two and a half years ago and began a relationship. They moved to Blaenau Ffestiniog in 2022. Rob, and then Lianne, relapsed.
Lianne became a resident at Penrhyn House. Rob attended meetings at Penrhyn, but restrictions were initially placed on him as staff were worried that he might be preying on Lianne. She only remained as a resident for six weeks, before moving in with Rob. People soon realised that the pair were a loving couple.
They were an exception to the rule that that romantic relationships don’t work for people who are in early recovery. Rob said that this placed them in an awkward position. Lianne’s response to people, particularly females, who ask her what they should do was: ‘First and foremost, focus on yourself and your recovery. Love yourself first, find community love second, and then maybe intimate love with an individual third.’
Rob emphasises that when you first walk through the doors at Penrhyn House, you must get stuck into the ethos of the community. You must be honest towards yourself and towards other people. You have to learn to trust people, so you can help each other. This is hard when you’ve been living a life with other addicts.
Rob points out that there are lots of things to take part in with NWRC. During her early days with NWRC, Lianne was so negative about herself. She had never been around a group of people who cared about her and wanted her to get well. The people at Penrhyn loved her when she didn’t love herself. That really helped her.
Rob became interested in mountains when he participated in the mixed-bag NWRC September Expedition. He had lived next to the mountains, but had never previously been up one. The last day ascent of Snowden was amazing and made him feel so alive. At a Hill Skills course that NWRC organised, the mountain leader suggested that Rob train to become one, as he was a natural. That nugget of inspiration led to Rob spending more time in the mountains and taking the course.
On the mountains, all his senses seemed to open up. He was on a spiritual journey with the 12-Steps, but now he started another such journey. In January 2024, Rob launched Sober Snowdonia, a walking group to help people recovering from addiction and other problems.
Lianne always enjoyed the outdoors when she was young, but this feeling gradually disappeared. Now, she is once again passionate about all sorts of outdoors activity; it gives her a feeling of peace. She decided to become fitter.
On her running journey, she discovered another form of community, the ultra-marathon community. Although she loves to promote the fact that she is in recovery and helps others, she also needs a different kind of community where she doesn’t have that recoveree identity, in order to grow as a person. Lianne recently completed the SheUltra on the Llŷn Peninsula, a 50 km (roughly 30 miles) ultra marathon.
Wulf asks the couple, ‘What works on a recovery journey? What’s the magic?’ Honesty, open-mindedness, willingness, connection, and accountability is the response. Rob is now a member of staff at Penrhyn House.
